Mother’s Pain

Eve is the name given to the Genesis account of the start of humanity. Other belief systems have similar accounts. This short abstract story is intended to contemplate her story, based on what Genesis says about it, but expanded to imagine what it may have felt like. I think we can relate as we go through the pain in our lives, hoping for redemption soon.

She comes into existence as the only being created out of God’s desire to make things better. God said “Adam is missing very important parts of life. He really needs a lover.” So Eve came into being fully needed and fully appreciated. Her heart and soul so full of contentment and purpose that she did not even know she was full. She lived, immersed in life, real, full, joyous life.

She and Adam enjoy the life we all wish we had, perfect Love, delightful days, physically walking with God everyday.  A world of perfect harmony, but completely natural: never crossed her mind that there was anything different.  This garden life is the way it has been and will be.  Peace and security so deep that there can be no concept that anything different could exist.  Days of laughing, exploring, trying new fruits, naming furry animals, frolicking in crystal waters with your perfect mate.  So complete, she has no concept of lack.

I love to think of our mother like that.

Then one day, a beautiful, powerful being speaks to her as she and Adam feast on the Tree of Life.  He confuses her about God’s one command: Don’t eat from the Tree to the left, the one God calls the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  She has wondered about that, why did God put it there? The words of the powerful being induce some feelings in her.  She looks at Adam, he shrugs.  She has never expereinced this before, she now is aware that she wants to try the fruit on the tree on the left, but has a conflict as she remembers God said to not try it.  “If only God were here right now to help explain this conflict!  He said that if we ate from this tree we would die that day.  I am not sure what it means to “die” but I could tell from God’s tone it was something very opposite from everything else in my existence.”

She suddenly has an overwhelming sense of inevitable failure as she reaches out, takes a fruit and feels the wonderful taste and texture of the Knowledge of Good and Evil pass over her tongue.  Adam is watching her closely, a look of curiosity and concern on his face.  Without adding to what the powerful being had said, she simply extends the fruit to him.  He ponders for a moment, then bites into the fruit. 

She can see from his face, a face that she loves so much, that he is experiencing the same as her; a sudden vast internal vortex of chaotic thoughts and feelings, building to a climax of foreign and horrible feelings and knowledge:  she now knows what God meant by “die”.  She knows now that the connection she had to life itself, to God, is now broken and cannot be fixed.  In her spirit she suddenly knows all the terrible truth of the realms of existence without that connection to life, to God.  A vast utter blackness appears in her spirit, swirling with power that seems certain to engulf all that she is.

She and Adam, writhe in terror while the powerful being laughs, then disappears.

Allow me to skip ahead in the story to a few years later.

She and Adam are adjusting to life that is without life.  She is expecting another baby.  She had such great, tremendous hope with the first baby. 

On that terrible day when she and Adam had doomed themselves, she realized with her mother’s heart that she had doomed all their children, not to mention animals.  Such total despair.  A burden too great, she would do anything to undo the death.  Into these feelings God had brought her great hope:  He promised that her child would fix the problems!

When the first son was born, she named him out of her great hope:  Cain, which means The Man or in simple terms “Here he is!”.  Here he was, the one God created to undo that terrible destruction that she and her beloved Adam had brought on eveything and eveyone.  “O, marvellous day.  We will be back to walking with God in the Garden!”

But then the days passed.  She looked for signs that things were changing.  No, the way to the Garden was still blocked.  She didn’t even have to check on her deadness, it permeated her thoughts all day every day.  Maybe tomorrow, the boy will do something that has some effect on this dead life filled with dead work.

The days accumulated into years.  A few daughters were born.

Now she gives birth to another son.  Out of her realization that Cain was not the One, she names him Abel, which means “it is all in vain”.

You know what happens after that – hatred, hatred, hatred.  Eve’s precious children hating continuously.  Eve had the horrible experience of watching helplessly while her children become a vast worldwide family, seething with hate and destruction.  My heart breaks for what this does to a mother’s heart.

————-

My dear mother, Eve.  Here we are, many thousands of years later.  So much misery, so many years of failure, so much hatred.  While you and father Adam started this, I love you anyway.  God finally showed what he meant about saving us all through your son.  Now God seems to be waiting for something else as we all continue to live in a world of hatred.  I know you aren’t worried about it anymore, precious mother.  I am glad that you are walking with God again every day.  I hope to be there soon.

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